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Exes = Blah

The thing about dating famous people (or people who are on their way to becoming famous) is that it really sucks to break up with them. Not only do you have to put up with posters and radio spots and glowing reviews as to how good their work is and what an amazing person they are, but it ruins your enjoyment of their art. Which especially sucks if you normally would love what they do.

Also you have to listen to people wax about how hot and amazing the person is in all sorts of random locations, and how lucky the person who is dating/sleeping with them is.

It's been a couple of years, and I'm totally over our break-up, but it's weird to be reminded how fans know absolutely nothing about the people they admire. Really. Also that being famous doesn't make you better than anyone else.

On Becoming a Workaholic

As I get older and get more involved with my job I find myself becoming more and more invested in what and how I do. I could be out partying some nights, but I stay sober if something is happening at work and I need to be available; I check and answer emails after I'm supposed to have left for the day; I bound across the city on crazy errands which everyone else balks at; I constantly volunteer for every project... and I love every second of it all.

I'm ambitious because I want to be in a position where I can help people. It's fortuitous that I happen to love both what I do and the reason I do it, though I'm sure I'd work myself half to death in almost any career that I ended up in.

Just a person who hates idle hands.

On most people can go to hell

My generation is full of flighty jerks who need to:

1) make up their fucking minds about what they want

2) learn to plan ahead instead of expecting people to jump through hoops of fire for them at the last minute

3) not expect that everyone around them is a mind-reader and actually broadcast these plans and decisions  out loud if they want others to accommodate them

In conclusion: fuck you to anyone who has ever made plans and cost me time/money/emotion/energy when you decided to piss off instead. It is not my fault that either your attention spans the length of a commercial, or that you weren't man enough to give advance notice of your abrupt inability to commit. 

I am so tired of being the universal rubbish heap for people's lack of planning and consideration.

Huh?

Dear ICBC,

Why do you send me a letter telling me to check that the new address on my 'change of address' card is correct? Clearly since I got the card it *is* correct, and if it wasn't right I wouldn't have gotten either the card or the letter. I don't understand your logic. Which is saying something since most of my job is comprised of being paid to interrupt your crazy actions. In the future you can trust that if I tic the little box confirming my info as correct when I'm filling out the forms (either in person or online), I've looked over the information for errors already. No follow-up letters are necessary.

Thanks,
L

The Last Paper

I am writing one of the very last papers for my degree ever - and I must say, I've certainly gone all out.

With a focus on TV commercials I've talked about gay teens, veganism and this monstrosity all in the same essay.

All I need now is to incorporate war and why I think capitalism is going to kill us all and I'll have created the most politically explosive essay ever. Maybe even more explosive than that paper I did on why I agree with limits on having children.

What am I going to do with all my anger at society when I'm not in school anymore? Good thing I'm becoming a lawyer.

On living a lie...

First check out this: Vegans Are Living a Lie

Most of the things on this list are not necessarily made with animal products, and the ones that are can be easily avoided or substituted out. Look at instrument strings. It is true that instrument strings are traditionally made using animal guts, but what humans have traditionally done versus what we currently do is really what is at the heart of the argument for veganism. Humans may have traditionally eaten meat, dairy and eggs (depending on your definition of ‘tradition’), but as our world has changed it has become our choice to no longer ingest or use products constructed through the infliction of harm to an animal (which includes environmental damage since that harms everything). Instrument strings can be made using metal and nylon; small string instruments can be strung using animal hair which is collected at no negative cost to an animal. Just because something is traditionally done a certain way does not mean it is not subject to change.

The point I’m hoping to make here is two-fold; the first being that anything pointed out on that list is either easily substituted or unnecessary to our lifestyle. Don’t let outside interests tell you that there is only one way. Don’t let them tell you that there is only one cheap way. I have worked now for two branches of government responsible for manufacturing all kinds of incredible and obscure things, so I know first hand that the only thing which would limit me in living a vegan lifestyle is my own closed mind and unwillingness to make changes.

My second point is that “pointing out the hypocrisy” of vegans does not make you clever; it makes you an argumentative asshole that gets off on aggravating other people. Furthermore it seems that the assumption you are making about vegans is that they are all uninformed or unintelligent – which is the furthest thing from the truth. Living a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle is a choice, often the most informed decision a person will ever make, and one which requires constant thought and adaptability for the rest of your life. Yet this piece seems to think that our care with picking out our diet doesn’t extend to the rest of our lives as well. That stores like Karmavore apparently only cater to the food side of things despite that fact that they clearly sell other animal-free products.

What I’m trying to say is this: vegans are ahead of you. So thanks for the heads-up, but we have been dealing with animal-based materials ever since we made the decision that contemporary methods of collecting those materials were not something we could endorse through the act of consumption. Problems spotted, and commenced being fixed long before you decided to take a cheap shot at us.

As a final point, vegans try to be respectful… which is far more than I can say for you. What this article clearly is, is you trying to justify your meat-eating by slandering others. This makes me want to ask: what are you getting out of it? I mean other then the false satisfaction that you are somehow better then us, or the lessened guilt surrounding your continued patronage of the factory farm system. This article was not about pointing out possible gaps in the vegan lifestyle and making constructive suggestions, it was about having something to lord over us. It was an attempt to brick off all your other exits so that you seem to have a reason for choosing your current path.

If you want to try debating veganism again when you have built up enough self-respect to take responsibility for your decisions I would be happy to. I would also be happy to suggest cruelty-free alternatives for any of the items in your picture, or from anywhere else you can think of. This response is not an attack on your lifestyle, just simply a note that you may find people more receptive to your arguments if you come to the table with something more constructive than trying to slap people into following what you have decided is the only possible path.

...

The last 10 pages in my browser history:

- The Karate Kid - wikipedia
- LezRenovate
- CBC News: BC University battles bedbugs
- Girls to the front: the story of the riot grrl revolution
- Facebook
- Polka Dot Door - wikipedia
- Youtube - Train - Drops of Jupiter
- Lara Martin on MySpace Music
- "help, my child is gay!" - Google Search
- Season 1 - Out With Dad

I totally out-random the Internet sometimes.

Love letters to fish

Dear Lox,

On and off throughout the years we have had nothing but undying love for each other in a primal (and often carnal) fashion; but alas, I feel that things lately have begun to change.

It is true that deep down I believe that being of First Nation status gives me the right to eat food which has been traditionally enjoyed by my people, and that I secretly blame Europeans-turned-Americans for most of the problems with decreasing fish stocks and ocean bio-diversity. This secret feeling is not logical. Everyone, everywhere is equally responsible for being a greedy bitch who doesn't care where our food is coming from - and we must all at some point come to terms with this and start thinking about our food choices.

Although this remained my initial justification for breaking up with you, I thought I knew in my heart of hearts that I would always love you even if we couldn't actually come together anymore. With some small sadness and much greater happiness I must inform you that this is no longer the case, for I have met a new love in the form of smoked tofu.

Smoked tofu has helped me fill all the voids in my life which the absence of you has left me with: on crackers, on bagels with vegan cream cheese, in wraps and rolls, and all the other things which I used to turn to you for.

Do not despair. I am happy, and isn't that all that matters? Perhaps the absence of me in your life shall serve to help you grow as much as a species, as I have as a person. Know that I will always think fondly of better days spent indulging my appetite for you – but truly both of us are better off without each other.

Be well,
L

i have personal space issues

Dear Person A,

Back the fuck off. I have to clean up enough already with the crappy job you do on your own work without you pilfering my keys, going into my desk, and trying to finish my work as well. Not only does this violate my personal space in a number of ways (considering you STOLE MY FUCKING KEYS!) but I now have to go back and undo everything you did and then redo it because you are completely inapt at doing simple tasks. Next time you get the urge to create a double workload for me, do us all a favour and choke on a rock instead.

~Me